Futurama

Fry And Leela Happy Endings From Bender, Part 6
By Rush

Night Before The Mission To Collect Honey.

Scene Fry's and Bender's Lounge. Past_Bender stands in the doorway of Fry's room.

Past_Bender "Theres, luck for you yet, Fry."

Scene Fry's Bed room. Fry siting on his bed wearing 20century style light blue boxers and a white t-shirt.

Fry "Yeah ,maybe your right Bender, the way Leela kissed me there it was--"

Past_Bender "Ah, don't get you hopes up, loser!"

Fry "Oh! Maybe your right."

Past_Bender "Damn right I am! She only digs, important guys. Now good night, I'm going out to get parasailing, with some cheap floozies."

Fry "Whatever happened to the Movie stars?"

Past_Bender "Shut up, thats what happened! Now, I gotta get dressed in my pimp suit."

Past_Bender closes the door. Fry sighs and picks up his holophonor off the floor.

Scene New New York Street. Past_Bender walks down a pavement. Wearing a pink pimp coat, a pink pimp hat,gold and silver rings on his fingers,gold and silver chain necklaces around his neck and grasped in his right hand a black walking stick.

Bender "Hmm, the British guy who called me told me their in this alleyway."

Scene Alleyway. The place is very dark, it is genially felled with garbage, and trash-cans. Past_Bender stands in the middle of the Alleyway looking confused.

Past_Bender "Where are the cheap floozies?"

Over to Future_Bender hiding in the shadows with a few trash cans around him, he is inside his body like in episode "Crimes of the Hot" apparently he is trying to look like a trash-can and its working, Past_Bender does not see him.

Future_Bender "Its time."

Future_Bender sneaks up on him and sticks onto his back, a 2 foot wide and six foot long rocket.

Past_Bender "What the?"

Past_Bender screams as he tries to pull off the rocket.

Past_Bender "Get it off! Get it off! Get off meeeeeee!"

The rocket roars into life, and blasts Past_Bender up into the sky, screaming, sending him into outer space.

Future_Bender "Well, that wasn't hard."

Narrator "From here on in, Future_Bender shall be known as Bender."

Many hours later,things happened very much the same until this point.

Scene Ships Cargo Bay. The queen bee stinger comes through with Bender on the end.

Bender "I'm back, meatbags!"

Scene Space Beehive. The cargo bay hatch closes, dislodging the queen. The ship lifts off and the bees sting it, denting it. It accelerates and the engine blasts the bees away.

Scene Planet Express Ship Cockpit. Fry cheers and Leela puts the baby queen in a pet basket.

Fry " We made it! We're alive!"

Leela "Burn on that, old crew! The only things they did better than us were suck and die."

Fry " Leela, we got lucky--Wait a minute! Bender what are you doing?!"

Leela turns round to see to her horror that Bender is stamping on the baby queen,crushing and killing it.

Bender "Die, you be---"

Bender's sentence was cut short, from Leela kicking him in the face,knocking him onto the floor.

Leela crying "You heartless monster! Why, did you kill, a baby?"

Bender gets back onto his feet, rubs some of the bee blood off himself and lights himself up a cigar using his middle finger as a lighter.

Bender "Trust me Leela, that baby queen was only worth nothing but trouble, it would of had tried to kill you and Fry."

He puffs his cigar and scratches his ass.

Leela "How would you know that?"

Fry "How indeed."

Bender "Alright! I'll explain some of the details. Set the ship to autopilot,this is going to be one hell of a story."

Suddenly Bender craps a brick, picks it up and throws it at the dead baby queen bee in the basket.

Fry "Was that necessary?"

Bender "I thought, it was twitching!"

Leela "Bender!"

Bender "Alright! Sheesh! It all began in--"

Sometime later. Fry has gone to his cabin, a bored looking Leela is still in the Cockpit, siting on the driver seat, facing him, listening to Bender with his almost burned out very short looking cigar in his mouth.

Bender "And then I start stamping on a baby b--"

Leela "Ok! I believe you, I guess."

Bender "Yea. Leela would you mind if I show you something."

Leela "Well, I don't know, maybe."

Bender opens his chest cabinet, takes out something that looks exactly like a pocket size What-If Machine.

Leela "Did you steel tha--"

Bender "No! I did not and before you ask its not a What-If Machine."

Leela "Then what is it?"

Bender melodramatically "Its the What-Was Not Meant To Be Seen Machine!"

Leela "K, that sounds interesting, go ahead."

Bender talks To The What-Was Not Meant To Be Seen Machine "How did Fry get rid of the worms and why and what was the aftermath.

What-Was Not Meant To Be Seen Seen. Farnsworth's Lab. Fry stands on the scanner platform and the machine scans him. He takes his droid out of the egg and drops it down the back of his trousers.

Scene Fry's Bowels. Fry's droid looks across at the worm city and walks towards the main building.

Inside Fry's body,Outside Worm Building. Guards surround him.

Fry-Droid " Who controls this bowel?"

Worm Guard 1" Who wants to know?"

Fry points at a gold statue of himself. Underneath the statue is the inscription "The Known Universe". The statue is in the same pointing pose as Fry is. The worms gasp and bow.

Scene Worm Building Mayor's Room. The Worm Mayor sits on a throne and Fry stands before him with guards around him.

Worm Mayor "I am the Lord Mayor of Cologne."

Fry-Droid "You mean colon?"

Worm Mayor "State your business!"

Fry-Droid "Your Excellency, have you ever been in love?"

Worm Mayor "No. I thought I was once but then I remember our species reproduces with a cloud of spores."

Fry-Droid "Well, a wonderful girl loves me. But I need to know if it's really me she loves, or just what you worms have made of me. That's why, with all due respect, I'm asking you to leave."

Worm Mayor "Listen, you I was born here, I raised a cloud of children here, my ancestors came over here on the sandwich."

Worm Mayor draws his sword.

Worm Mayor "No one can make me leave!"

He gets up off his throne and lunges at Fry. Fry ducks and grabs a sword off the wall and begins fighting with the Worm Mayor. The Worm Mayor backs him against an elevator. Fry hits the open button and they both go inside, still fighting.

Inside Fry's body,Elevator. Fry closes the door, blocking out the other guards. He looks at the other buttons, Brain, Lungs, Liver, Ball Room. He presses the brain button.

Inside Fry's body,Fry's Brain. Worms continue to tune-up Fry's brain. The elevator doors open and the Worm Mayor and Fry continue to fight. Worms head for the fight, drawing their swords. The Worm Mayor grins as Fry is backed up against a nerve. He climbs the nerve and the worms follow him up. Fry reaches the top of the nerve and has nowhere left to go. He holds out his sword.

Fry-Droid "Everyone out of my body or the brain gets it!"

Worm Mayor "He's bluffing! No creature would willingly make an idiot out of itself."

Fry-Droid "Obviously you've never been in love!"

He cuts through the nerve and the worms fall to the floor.

Fry swings on the cut nerve and lands on a catwalk. He runs along it, slashing nerves as he goes. "Ow! Ow! Ow!"

The worms look up and gasp. Fry stands next to a lobe at the end of the catwalk.

Fry "Now, the hand-eye co-ordination lobe."

He cuts it and staggers around, cutting some more nerves. He batters the catwalk.

Worm Guard 1 "Stop it, man!"

Fry hits the catwalk again and it falls. The worms surround him with their swords. He crawls into a corner.

Worm Mayor "You've damaged your brain, Universe, but no more than a week of binge drinking or five minutes on a cell phone."

Fry stand up and draws his sword at another lobe.

Fry-Droid "I was just working my way towards the medulla oblongata, control centre of the heart and lungs. And if I kill myself, you die with me."

The worms scream.

Worm Guard 2 "Wait a minute, man!"

Fry-Droid "I hope Satan has a nice colon, 'cause that's where you're gonna be living!"

He holds his sword back over his shoulder, ready to cut the medulla oblongata. The Worm Mayor stares in disbelief. Fry twitches.

Worm Mayor "Stop! We'll leave."

He puts his sword away.

Worm Mayor "But one day you'll be eating a fast-food burger and boom! You'll be crawling with us again. Ever wonder what makes special sauce so special? Yo!"

He points at himself. He gestures to the worms and they leave.

Suddenly The What-Was Not Meant To Be Seen Machine changes.

Inside Robot Arms Apartments ,Fry's and Bender's Lounge. Bender stands in the doorway of Fry's room wearing pyjama bottoms. Fry sighs.

Bender "Sorry you struck out, sausage link."

Inside Fry's Bedroom.

Bender "If it's any consolation, my life is great! Babes! Bucks! I got it all! "

Fry "Well, at least I learned Leela's a lost cause. I give up."

Bender "There you go!"

Bender yawns.

Bender "Goodnight. I gotta get up early to go parasailing with movie stars!"

The door closes. Fry picks up a book called "My First Holophonor, and leans it up on a chair. He pulls the chair towards him and plays his holophonor. Smooth, harmonic music comes from the holophonor. The holophonor swirls form a pink ball in the air. A smile trickles around the ball. A single eye opens in the middle of it and some purple hair held up in a ponytail appears on top. Fry smiles and continues playing.

The What-Was Not Meant To Be Seen Machine Stops.

Back to the now in the Planet Express Ship Cockpit. Bender is laughing, Leela is silent.

Bender "Wasn't that funny Leela?"

Leela says nothing.

Bender "Isn't it just pathetic , that Fry would play his Holophonor, just like that almost every night for you."

Leela says nothing.

Bender "And sometimes he would cry himself to sleep and say, why don't you love me Leela, I'll try and change."

Bender turns round to look at Leela. He sees Leela with a very blood shot eye and crying heavily with her hand covering her face.

Leela "Oh Fry, I'm not a lost cause!"

Leela gets up off the driver seat, runs off to Fry's cabin and Bender dusts his hands.

Bender "Leela can be really impulsive when she wants to be. Anyway, another good job well done. Well I guess I'll go help Zoidberg in his lifelong dream to be a comedian."

Narrator "So,Fry and Leela went on a few dates for the next two weeks and got remarried at one point plus Leela got pregnant. And thats the back story of the Devil's Microphone Is A Idol Comedy thing. Oh almost forgot. Bender put the "The new time paradox code" in a usb stick."

Ending Quote "Farewell, from the world of yesterday!"

Cast

Narrator, Benders, Frys, Leelas, The Cows, Yuri, The Robot Devil, Zoidbergs, Farnsworths, Vogel, Nixon, URLs, Smittys, Kif, Zapp, Robot Santa,Roman-Centurion, The Roman Legionary, Robertos, Superman, Some Guy?, Woman?, Whitey, Mrs. Fry, Mr. Fry ,Zoid, Hedonismbot, Bush, Dave Chapelle, Bill Hicks, Pat Short, Terry, Sean, Lou, Kids of the Orphanarium, Announce, Doctor?, Morris, Munda, Hermes, LaBarbara, Tinny Tim, Countess, Mr. Wong, Mrs. Wong, Hattie, jellyfish like alien, and Rush.

(Deleted Scenes)

Scene 1 Planet Express Lounge. Farnsworth talks to Leela, Fry and Bender,who are from a anther Fan Fiction parallel universe who want to start a new one.

Farnsworth "You'll be the female character, you'll be the male character, and you'll be the alcoholic, foul-mouthed, random robot character and---"

The door behind him opens and the crew from this Fan Fiction walk in.

Farnsworth "Oh, god, its a happy ending. I mean, thank God its a happy ending!"

He turns back to the others.

Farnsworth "Look for some other Farnsworth, who will send the universe is self back in time and you with it, to start a new Fan Fiction, in some other parallel universe."

Leela "Guess, whats the good news Professor."

Farnsworth “Your pregnant and Fry is the father? That is good news!"

Leela "No, not yet but me and Fry are getting remarried and--"

Farnsworth has gone a sleep stands up.

Leela "Oh never mind! Come on Fry lets go to my place."

Fry "What are we going to be doing there,exactly?"

Leela gives Fry sexual look that tells him his answer.

Fry "Alright!"

Leela "Come on."

Leela takes hold of Fry's hand.

Fry worried" Your not going to tell when were there to get out, like last time?"

Leela "What? No I wont."

Scene 2 in church.

Priest "Let us show an sign of Christ."

The people shake each others hands saying peace be with you, Bender however sticks his middle finger up at the people siting next to him.

Bender "War be with you!"

Some Guy "What?"

Bender "I must go now, to get parasailing with movie stars, so war out, y'all."

Bender runs out of the church.

Scene 3 Planet Express Lounge. Bender and Zoidberg sit at the table with the old rusty looking Microphone.

Zoidberg "Oh, its It's hopeless! I'll never be a good comedian."

Bender "No, its not."

Zoidberg "Like how can I?"

Bender "Oh, but you can. Though you may have to metaphorically make a ,deal with the devil. And by, devil, I mean, Robot Devil. And by, metaphorically, I mean, get your collar".

Scene 4 New Jersey desert. Bender walks Zoidberg with a dogs lead and whips him with a whip.

Zoidberg being whipped "Ow! This was not-- Ow! Exactly what I had in mind. Ow!"

Bender "Shut up! I'll tell you, what you have exactly in mind or not."

Zoidberg "Where we going anyway."

Bender "I don't know, your guess is as good as mine—Oh, wait were there."

Scene 5 Robot Hell.

Enter Bender and Zoidberg on the slide. They land at the Robot Devil's feet.

Robot Devil "Ah, Bender, new comer. You've come back for more eternal damnation."

Bender stands up and dust himself off.

Bender "No, this isn't a religious visit. Zoidberg just wants not to suck at being a comedian."

Zoidberg stands up.

Zoidberg "Yes,I just need--"

Robot Devil "I'm not really interested in you but Bender however I am."

Bender "So?"

Robot Devil "I'll give you my Microphone, which you can control minds, as along as you use for absolute power corrupts absolutely."

Bender lying "You got it."

The Robot Devil hands Bender the Microphone.

(Not All Rights Received)

(Copyright Infringement From Father Ted Sh*t Happens Joke)

Scene New New York Street outside Robot Arms Apartments. Bender walks out followed closely behind with Fry.

Fry "Bender, Leela has invented me over and--"

Fry's sentence was cut short, from Bender throwing a brick at Fry hitting him in the leg.

Fry "Ow! Why did you, do that for!?"

Bender giggles with a hand on his mouth and Fry walks off.

Bender "Huh?"

Bender from hearing a loud jet engine like noise in the sky, looks up and sees a rocket.

Bender "Is that, me, Ben--"

Bender's sentence was cut short, from a brick hitting him in the face, knocking him to the ground out cold.

Past_Bender up in the sky "Take that! You rotor sucking bastard!"

A white envelope marked "Crap Happens" falls onto the chest of the out cold, lying on the ground on his back Bender, its on fire and begins to burn up in the bottom right corner.

The End